Have Your Needs Changed?
For couples who have been together for an extensive amount of time, it can become easy to fall into a slump of mundane day-to-day interactions. You unintentionally stop pursuing each other. You assume that each other’s needs are being, especially if no one is complaining. Eventually, you stop engaging altogether, and even when you do, it’s shallow at best. There’s no intentionality, no spontaneity, and subsequently no growth.
We often allow old wounds to guide our desires for new relationships. Let’s be honest, we all chose our mates based on where and who we were at the moment. Not many, if any of us, selected our partners based on what our future self would need. And that’s okay, but as we heal, grow, and change, so do our needs. So does our partner’s needs.
As someone who reflects personally on an ongoing basis, I naturally urge those closest to me to do the same. Not only does reflection help you to identify areas of growth, but it also helps to identify areas of stagnation and the changes that need to be made. I don’t believe change can truly occur from a place of ignorance. Once you acknowledge that change is necessary, then you can make the necessary adjustments.
So, ask your spouse these two simple questions:
1. What did you need from me when we first became partners?
2. What do you need from me now?
It's important to re-evaluate each other's needs periodically so that you can grow together...not apart!
Go have the conversation, then come back and let me know how it went!
-Courtney
“Change can’t occur from a place of ignorance”